What Happened to All the Nice Guys?

A guy claimed that this is the most common question in a girl's mind and posted the answer to this question.I thought I should evaluate his views.

I wonder, is that a question or a complaint?

What happened to all the nice guys?

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out. The answer is simple: you did. Blaming yourself is never simple.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fcking treated you. As a guy, he have a hundreds of better thing to do than tagging with a girl and listening to her whine. (e.g. His own happy time with porn, saving the world through his computer games, get pissed drunk with his best mates complaining about how hard it is to understand girls, go pray at the temple for the best girlfriend and luck at punting, etc) The only reason he is putting in so much effort because he assessed that he has a high probability to get hooked up. Or he's just highly infatuated and started swimming out into the ocean of stupidity.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. That's pretty smart - get people to notice you. What's the point when no one knew you existed? They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Everything started from friends Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease. You better be damn tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish to make that kind of judgment on others.

Eventually, your platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. That sounds a disease among girls - letting emotional judgment take over rationality and picking the wrong boyfriend So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating reciprocated? that's naive! it's like expecting to win at all gambles , in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. Hallelujah He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. Nope, he should realize that people as a whole are selfish. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. That took long for someone to realize that! lol He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be. Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your as.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.
Ignore all the 3 suggestions, especially number 3. Start thinking rationally and make better decisions.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you. I totally disagree. What constitute a nice guy is very subjective. From a marketing point of view, to believe that all women defines 'nice guys' as an exclusive package is suicidal. A dude should always understand his strengths and target at women who see his strengths as "nice guy attributes" Seriously, learn from the players - They got it right in the first place. You can be as good as a player but not accepting their moral values.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fcked
yourself over. You're getting old. Same advice for guys, learn and grow up.

There is no such thing as failure in relationships but poor communication.

If she wants a little red car, don't try to sell her a little blue car. If the red car costs too much to make, find someone who is willing to pay lots more than for a little blue car. You have options, it's a matter if you see it or not.